Yes, we are still alive. It's been ages since we posted an entry on this website. Not entirely because we're slack but there hasnt really been a great deal happenin in our world. Everything is just running along nicely and nothing has really changed apart from my growing belly!
I'm still feeling really good. The baby has become more active and its little kicks are getting stronger. Jeremy can now feel the baby kick and you can even see my belly move before your eyes when the baby gets active! 24 weeks have passed so quickly and 16 to go doesnt seem that far away at all...which makes me think that Christmas is just around the corner too. Where does the year go?
Anyways, I'm heading off to Melbourne today for a children's ministry conference called "Kidshaper" love this time of the year it's nice to get away and be inspired and encouraged. I'll be away for 3 days.
Hope everyone is well, we'll write again soon.
Love Meg
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
.Our. Baby.
How amazing is this photo? I am in complete awe of this tiny little life living and growing in my tummy.
The morning started with 5 huge glasses of water that needed to be taken an hour and a half before the ultrasound. We arrived at the hospital at 10:30am and I was already busting and we had to wait another 30 minutes before we were seen. By that time, the urge wasnt really funny anymore. I REALLY NEEDED TO GO! he he...
The lady rushed to do what she had to while I had a full bladder then I was able to go to the bathroom. Never in my life have I looked forward to going to the bathroom so much!! he he....
Anyways we were in there for about 45 minutes in which we were able to see our extremely wriggly baby move before our eyes. The baby has grown SO much in the last four weeks. The lady was so great at explaining exactly what she was doing, showing us what parts were what and telling us about the measurements she was taking. Christine, was her name, spent most of the time laughing at the baby because of how much it was moving around. The baby was making it very difficult to take clear photos and get measurements. She ended up asking me to lay on my stomach for 10 minutes hoping that the baby would rest in a new position and calm down so she could get photos and meaurements of its heart. And it worked!
Finally before the ultrasound finished the lady looked to see if we could find out if our baby was a boy or a girl. Unfortunately, because of the way the baby was positioned we couldnt find out for cetain but the lady hinted at what she thought the baby was. So it looks like we're gonna have to wait until later on down the track before we can go out buying blue or pink things!!
We are very excited parents-to-be!!
At church on the weekend everyone was commenting on how I'm really starting to show. Will have to get some pics and post them on the blog.
Hope you are all well,
Love Meg, Jer & ??
Monday, July 10, 2006
check the last blog.
I've just higlighted the song titles for those who might've missed a few...
Check it out
Check it out
Sunday, July 02, 2006
46 Song titles!
Well I'm back in black. If it makes you happy, I'm going to post another blog. It might be a bit complicated, but try to find all the song titles you can see. You might come to end of it and say
"But Jeremy, I still haven't found what I'm looking for!"
That's alright, because soon you'll say, "It's all coming back to me now". So go ahead and have a try. Whether you're proud Mary, Suzie Q, Stacey's Mom or just the Joker, you can all have a go. I'll give one week, maybe more, because there's a lot in here to find. You won't be a loser if you don't get them all, but you'll be standing outside the fire saying "I'm all by myself" if you don't at least try.
So, I think we'll just ventura down the highway (because life is a highway, isn't it) and see how we go. See, if I had a million dollars, I'd be able to get someone else to do this. But I'm just the son of a preacher man, and I wouldn't get any help. Oops, I did it again, just rambling away, not making much sense. It feels like my head is full of spiderwebs. I just need to look out the window for a second to gather my thoughts. As I put on my shirt that's purple, rain starts to fall down outside. That's too bad for my friend, Bennie, and the jets he wanted to fly around outside.
I went for a walk and just came back. I went to walk this way but the sign told me to walk that way. It was a long and winding road. I felt like it went on for 500 miles! I suppose it would've been faster to ride a horse with no name, but there's no wide open spaces for it to run on. As I was going, my feet started to hurt so it felt like I was walking on broken glass. I came to an intersection, Bop Street and Main Street and a guy there asked me "Are you going to go my way? Down Main Street?" And I thought about for a moment, "Mmm...Bop St is the way I'm going". I didn't want to follow him because he was wearing funny clothes. It's hard to respect someone who isn't in vogue like me.
But I just got back and Meg greeted me with arms wide open and said, "I honestly love you!" Isn't she lovely, saying things like that? She always makes me feel like I'm pretty fly, for a white guy, at least. So I thought I'd try and sneak a drink of her coke while she was in such a good mood but she said, "You can't touch this, because I want it that way. Not with your dirty germs all over it!" Oh well, I tried.
So, we're going out tonight to see Pastor Bruce preach at another church. It's a nice yellow building across the other side of Bendigo. It should be a good night. I see him fairly often at church but you ain't seen nothing yet. He preaches up a storm in other churches. I can't wait to get the party started. But I might have a nap before I go out. I just have to tell Meg to wake me up before you go-go. But after church, I'll want to get straight home really fast. Might have to take a rocket, man, to get home real fast. I'll just make sure I don't speak to anyone I don't know tonight.
Well, I think that's about all I have to say. Make sure you hollaback girl, or boy or whoever is reading this. See ya!
"But Jeremy, I still haven't found what I'm looking for!"
That's alright, because soon you'll say, "It's all coming back to me now". So go ahead and have a try. Whether you're proud Mary, Suzie Q, Stacey's Mom or just the Joker, you can all have a go. I'll give one week, maybe more, because there's a lot in here to find. You won't be a loser if you don't get them all, but you'll be standing outside the fire saying "I'm all by myself" if you don't at least try.
So, I think we'll just ventura down the highway (because life is a highway, isn't it) and see how we go. See, if I had a million dollars, I'd be able to get someone else to do this. But I'm just the son of a preacher man, and I wouldn't get any help. Oops, I did it again, just rambling away, not making much sense. It feels like my head is full of spiderwebs. I just need to look out the window for a second to gather my thoughts. As I put on my shirt that's purple, rain starts to fall down outside. That's too bad for my friend, Bennie, and the jets he wanted to fly around outside.
I went for a walk and just came back. I went to walk this way but the sign told me to walk that way. It was a long and winding road. I felt like it went on for 500 miles! I suppose it would've been faster to ride a horse with no name, but there's no wide open spaces for it to run on. As I was going, my feet started to hurt so it felt like I was walking on broken glass. I came to an intersection, Bop Street and Main Street and a guy there asked me "Are you going to go my way? Down Main Street?" And I thought about for a moment, "Mmm...Bop St is the way I'm going". I didn't want to follow him because he was wearing funny clothes. It's hard to respect someone who isn't in vogue like me.
But I just got back and Meg greeted me with arms wide open and said, "I honestly love you!" Isn't she lovely, saying things like that? She always makes me feel like I'm pretty fly, for a white guy, at least. So I thought I'd try and sneak a drink of her coke while she was in such a good mood but she said, "You can't touch this, because I want it that way. Not with your dirty germs all over it!" Oh well, I tried.
So, we're going out tonight to see Pastor Bruce preach at another church. It's a nice yellow building across the other side of Bendigo. It should be a good night. I see him fairly often at church but you ain't seen nothing yet. He preaches up a storm in other churches. I can't wait to get the party started. But I might have a nap before I go out. I just have to tell Meg to wake me up before you go-go. But after church, I'll want to get straight home really fast. Might have to take a rocket, man, to get home real fast. I'll just make sure I don't speak to anyone I don't know tonight.
Well, I think that's about all I have to say. Make sure you hollaback girl, or boy or whoever is reading this. See ya!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
I'm Alive!
Well, I'm back
That's right. I've figured that my team has gone pretty darn far ( alot farther than most people would've predicted) and I fear no taunting and teasing. And Meg says that I can't talk about hockey anymore now that its done....for now...wait until October!
But things are progressing along nicely here in Bendigo. Everything here seems to move along at a slower pace though. For those of you who don't know, Meg had an ultrasound last week, our first one! It was very cool, but a little disappointing. We thought were about 18 1/2 weeks but we found it that we were only 15 1/2 weeks along, moving the due date to December 7th. The doctor said to just keep the original date of November 16th, just in case, anyways. The disappointing part (and I'll probably get comments on this) is that we couldn't find out the sex of the baby. In fact, I'm not even sure it's human. They took a picture of its face and its the kind of thing you find in your nightmares. It feels like we'll have some unknown creature bursting from Meg's stomach in a Spielberg-esque birth. But we get to have another ultrasound in a few weeks, in which we hope to find out the sex and all the other tests they need to do at that stage. You get to see cool things like the heartbeat and its fingers and toes and how it's wigling around in there even though she still can't feel it. Soon enough, they say...soon enough.
Meg has just finished her School Holiday program which I'm sure shes happy about. It was a lot of work for her and her team, having 35 kids from 8:30-3:30 while its raining outside. How she managed to keep from going crazy, much less keep the kids from going insane is beyond me. But there were quite a few kids who went along who'd never been to Victory before, which was kind of the whole point, so that was good.
Umm...what else...work is going well...nothing to report there. Church is going along swimmingly. (Why swimming is used as a metaphor doesn't make a lot of sense to me)
Well, you can now consider yourself up-to-date. Cross that off your your to-do list, just under "Trek Great Wall of China" and "Solve Fiendish Sudoku".
I have a great idea for my next blog...so expect another one real soon!
That's right. I've figured that my team has gone pretty darn far ( alot farther than most people would've predicted) and I fear no taunting and teasing. And Meg says that I can't talk about hockey anymore now that its done....for now...wait until October!
But things are progressing along nicely here in Bendigo. Everything here seems to move along at a slower pace though. For those of you who don't know, Meg had an ultrasound last week, our first one! It was very cool, but a little disappointing. We thought were about 18 1/2 weeks but we found it that we were only 15 1/2 weeks along, moving the due date to December 7th. The doctor said to just keep the original date of November 16th, just in case, anyways. The disappointing part (and I'll probably get comments on this) is that we couldn't find out the sex of the baby. In fact, I'm not even sure it's human. They took a picture of its face and its the kind of thing you find in your nightmares. It feels like we'll have some unknown creature bursting from Meg's stomach in a Spielberg-esque birth. But we get to have another ultrasound in a few weeks, in which we hope to find out the sex and all the other tests they need to do at that stage. You get to see cool things like the heartbeat and its fingers and toes and how it's wigling around in there even though she still can't feel it. Soon enough, they say...soon enough.
Meg has just finished her School Holiday program which I'm sure shes happy about. It was a lot of work for her and her team, having 35 kids from 8:30-3:30 while its raining outside. How she managed to keep from going crazy, much less keep the kids from going insane is beyond me. But there were quite a few kids who went along who'd never been to Victory before, which was kind of the whole point, so that was good.
Umm...what else...work is going well...nothing to report there. Church is going along swimmingly. (Why swimming is used as a metaphor doesn't make a lot of sense to me)
Well, you can now consider yourself up-to-date. Cross that off your your to-do list, just under "Trek Great Wall of China" and "Solve Fiendish Sudoku".
I have a great idea for my next blog...so expect another one real soon!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
A Possibility?
cham·pi·on (chmp-n) n.
1.One that wins first place or first prize in a competition.
2.One that is clearly superior or has the attributes of a winner: a champion at teaching.
3.An ardent defender or supporter of a cause or another person: a champion of the homeless.
4.One who fights; a warrior.
5. Edmonton Oiler; EG: Home of Champions.
Synonyms: unsurpassed, best, enduring, everlasting, perpetual
I think that seems to explain it quite well.
I have to say that I haven't had any luck in trying to find the games on TV here anywhere, so I've gotten my family to tape the games so I can get them sent over and transfered to DVD. Anybody who's anybody will want to watch the time when the Oilers brought the cup home to Canada and all the nay-sayers and no-goodniks were shamed and abashed like the hypocrites they were. I can just imagine the newspapers now.
OILERS WIN REWRITES CANADIAN HISTORY
The Oilers marked a momentous day in history with the triumphant win over the Carolina Hurricanes in Game 5 of the series. But it seems that this long-anticipated event has started some changes in Canadian history. Massive riots broke out in Rexall Place after the horn sounded and the Cup was hoisted by Ryan Smyth. PM Stephen Harper was not available after the game for comment, but released this press release early this morning.
"This is a great day for Edmontonians, Albertans, and Canadians alike. In Honour of the win I've decided to make a few changes. I've declared today a national holiday called Oiler Day. I've sacked Premier Klein because he was well known as an avid Calgary Flames fan, and I've arranged to swear in Craig Mactavish as Alberta's new premier because of his obvious leadership and decision making abilities. I have no doubt in his ability to lead this province. In addition to declaring the Oiler Flag our second national flag, I've immediately put a ban on all outward display of aggression towards any Oiler related activity. They are a team to be celebrated, not shunned."
Mactavish was not available for comment but has allegedly already put forth a few changes for Albertans, including Provincial Days honouring Oilers Greats, increased taxes for all Flames fans and even a name change from Alberta to Oilerland.
In response to PM Harper's release, Calgary police have arrested and detained thousands of Calgary Flames fans and for further peace keeping, have banned the flying of the Flames flag. Any breach of this law now holds a $10000 fine and a mandatory 60 days in jail.
In a strange twist of events, Captain of the Flames, Jarome Iginla has approached Flames coach Darryl Sutter with his wish to be traded. He has declared that unless being traded to the Oilers, he will refuse to play in any further games.
"Being born in St Albert, I have always been a secret supporter of the Oilers", Iginla stated in a press conference. "I've always had a boyhood dream of playing for my home team. Now seeing the error of my ways, I would like to play for the Oilers and play on a team that actually has a chance to win the Cup again next year" Jarome adamantly denies any suggestion that this is related to the ongoing turbulence in Calgary.
The Celebrity Status that so often follows movie stars and music personalities has now seemed to stretch even to Edmonton. Hollywood producer Ron Howard has approached several players to sign a movie deal, including Dwayne Roloson, Ryan Smyth and Ethan Moreau. The project is tentatively named, The Mighty Oil.
Many requests for appearances and signings have overwhelmed an already tired team, but with increased sighitngs around town, it is rumoured starlet Angelina Jolie has dumped recent hubby Brad Pitt for Right Wing Georges Laraque. It is not confirmed whether they are an official couple and Jolie's publicist insists they are "just friends".
All in all, Edmonton's Stanley Cup championship has introduced new changes for this country. And many say, for the better.
Interesting...very interesting....
1.One that wins first place or first prize in a competition.
2.One that is clearly superior or has the attributes of a winner: a champion at teaching.
3.An ardent defender or supporter of a cause or another person: a champion of the homeless.
4.One who fights; a warrior.
5. Edmonton Oiler; EG: Home of Champions.
Synonyms: unsurpassed, best, enduring, everlasting, perpetual
I think that seems to explain it quite well.
I have to say that I haven't had any luck in trying to find the games on TV here anywhere, so I've gotten my family to tape the games so I can get them sent over and transfered to DVD. Anybody who's anybody will want to watch the time when the Oilers brought the cup home to Canada and all the nay-sayers and no-goodniks were shamed and abashed like the hypocrites they were. I can just imagine the newspapers now.
OILERS WIN REWRITES CANADIAN HISTORY
The Oilers marked a momentous day in history with the triumphant win over the Carolina Hurricanes in Game 5 of the series. But it seems that this long-anticipated event has started some changes in Canadian history. Massive riots broke out in Rexall Place after the horn sounded and the Cup was hoisted by Ryan Smyth. PM Stephen Harper was not available after the game for comment, but released this press release early this morning.
"This is a great day for Edmontonians, Albertans, and Canadians alike. In Honour of the win I've decided to make a few changes. I've declared today a national holiday called Oiler Day. I've sacked Premier Klein because he was well known as an avid Calgary Flames fan, and I've arranged to swear in Craig Mactavish as Alberta's new premier because of his obvious leadership and decision making abilities. I have no doubt in his ability to lead this province. In addition to declaring the Oiler Flag our second national flag, I've immediately put a ban on all outward display of aggression towards any Oiler related activity. They are a team to be celebrated, not shunned."
Mactavish was not available for comment but has allegedly already put forth a few changes for Albertans, including Provincial Days honouring Oilers Greats, increased taxes for all Flames fans and even a name change from Alberta to Oilerland.
In response to PM Harper's release, Calgary police have arrested and detained thousands of Calgary Flames fans and for further peace keeping, have banned the flying of the Flames flag. Any breach of this law now holds a $10000 fine and a mandatory 60 days in jail.
In a strange twist of events, Captain of the Flames, Jarome Iginla has approached Flames coach Darryl Sutter with his wish to be traded. He has declared that unless being traded to the Oilers, he will refuse to play in any further games.
"Being born in St Albert, I have always been a secret supporter of the Oilers", Iginla stated in a press conference. "I've always had a boyhood dream of playing for my home team. Now seeing the error of my ways, I would like to play for the Oilers and play on a team that actually has a chance to win the Cup again next year" Jarome adamantly denies any suggestion that this is related to the ongoing turbulence in Calgary.
The Celebrity Status that so often follows movie stars and music personalities has now seemed to stretch even to Edmonton. Hollywood producer Ron Howard has approached several players to sign a movie deal, including Dwayne Roloson, Ryan Smyth and Ethan Moreau. The project is tentatively named, The Mighty Oil.
Many requests for appearances and signings have overwhelmed an already tired team, but with increased sighitngs around town, it is rumoured starlet Angelina Jolie has dumped recent hubby Brad Pitt for Right Wing Georges Laraque. It is not confirmed whether they are an official couple and Jolie's publicist insists they are "just friends".
All in all, Edmonton's Stanley Cup championship has introduced new changes for this country. And many say, for the better.
Interesting...very interesting....
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Rocky V
The Scene was set. Tommy Gunn, new heavyweight world champion has been goaded by his promoter to prove his worthiness by defeating his one-time trainer, Rocky Balboa. In a street brawl, the two opponents meet. Although Rocky has been known as the "greatest", Tommy seems to have the upper hand in this fight, repeatedly, knocking Rocky down. We don't see Rocky's fire until one time, as he lies on the ground, blood pooling from numerous orifices, that he reflects on his trainer, Mickey, telling him"Get up, Ya Bum!" Rocky does indeed get up and proves himself again to defeat Tommy Gunn on the mean streets of Philidelphia.
Get up, ya bum. That's what my wife says to me in order to encourage me to post another blog.
Despite what she may lead you to believe, I am not in favor of deceiving our as-of-yet unborn child about the best hockey team to cheer for. I know that I will be able to turn back the pages of history and say, "In the Year 2006, Edmonton Oilers, although barely making it into the playoffs, were able to bring back Canada's glory, the Lord Stanley's Cup. A feat which your mother's team, the Flames, were not able to do in 2004."
You have to admit, The Oilers have proven themselves no "fluke" team as someone I know (Nathan) would like to believe. They now look to take the Western Conference with ease from the struggling Ducks. I would honestly like to know what everyone's opinion will be when the Oilers go all the way, and I prove myself a prophet with my declaration of the Oilers being the Stanley Cup Champions for 2006! It will be interesting to say the least. I know I'll have an email for Nathan.
Well, I suppose there's more out there than hockey at the moment. Some would try and convince me that having a baby might even be more important, although I'm not convinced yet.
For those who are wondering, yes Meg is doing fine. There's nothing major to report in fact. It still doesn't even feel like we're pregnant, really. All that assures us that we are is two blue lines on a little test. Not a lot more though. We're eager to post the Ultrasound photos on here when we have them done, although we'll be keeping the sex a surprise, to be sure.
Well, that's a quick update for ya. Thanks for all your comments!
Get up, ya bum. That's what my wife says to me in order to encourage me to post another blog.
Despite what she may lead you to believe, I am not in favor of deceiving our as-of-yet unborn child about the best hockey team to cheer for. I know that I will be able to turn back the pages of history and say, "In the Year 2006, Edmonton Oilers, although barely making it into the playoffs, were able to bring back Canada's glory, the Lord Stanley's Cup. A feat which your mother's team, the Flames, were not able to do in 2004."
You have to admit, The Oilers have proven themselves no "fluke" team as someone I know (Nathan) would like to believe. They now look to take the Western Conference with ease from the struggling Ducks. I would honestly like to know what everyone's opinion will be when the Oilers go all the way, and I prove myself a prophet with my declaration of the Oilers being the Stanley Cup Champions for 2006! It will be interesting to say the least. I know I'll have an email for Nathan.
Well, I suppose there's more out there than hockey at the moment. Some would try and convince me that having a baby might even be more important, although I'm not convinced yet.
For those who are wondering, yes Meg is doing fine. There's nothing major to report in fact. It still doesn't even feel like we're pregnant, really. All that assures us that we are is two blue lines on a little test. Not a lot more though. We're eager to post the Ultrasound photos on here when we have them done, although we'll be keeping the sex a surprise, to be sure.
Well, that's a quick update for ya. Thanks for all your comments!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Clarification
Hello all,
We've just booked in for our 18 week ultrasound on June 19th so we'll be able to see this little baby, which is very exciting.
Now, just to clear up and clarify something...
Our baby WILL BE a CALGARY FLAMES FAN!!!
We've just booked in for our 18 week ultrasound on June 19th so we'll be able to see this little baby, which is very exciting.
Now, just to clear up and clarify something...
Our baby WILL BE a CALGARY FLAMES FAN!!!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
An Extension...
I'm sure that most people have become aware of this but I though I'd put a public annoucement out there in case we missed anyone.
And the news is?....
Meg is 12 weeks pregnant!
Which outs the arrival date around November 16th
So Meg and I are pregnant...
Renting out the guest room
The Pop Secret is in the microwave
Losing the immunity challenge
Moving the Baby 1.0 prototype into production
Spinning off a wholly-owned subsidiary
Got a three-month pass for the morning porcelain express
Secured a beachhead on the shores of the Uterine Sea
Bun in the oven
On stork watch
Eating for two
In the family way
I'll let you know, Meg is feeling fine and healthy...and out first ultra sound is next week. OOOOhhh. Should be exciting!
and let the comments come!
And the news is?....
Meg is 12 weeks pregnant!
Which outs the arrival date around November 16th
So Meg and I are pregnant...
Renting out the guest room
The Pop Secret is in the microwave
Losing the immunity challenge
Moving the Baby 1.0 prototype into production
Spinning off a wholly-owned subsidiary
Got a three-month pass for the morning porcelain express
Secured a beachhead on the shores of the Uterine Sea
Bun in the oven
On stork watch
Eating for two
In the family way
I'll let you know, Meg is feeling fine and healthy...and out first ultra sound is next week. OOOOhhh. Should be exciting!
and let the comments come!
Finally!
Well, I think I've allowed enough time to get the answers from everyone. I hope you had some fun checking it all out.
1. Field Hockey
2.Cuff Links
3. Anything goes
4. Conklin
5.Toyota Corolla
6. Mel Borhot
7. Calgary flames 6-5
8.Wangaratta
9. Azhia Lily Claridge
10. Banff
11. The answer to this...Yes of course!
12. Russia
13. Vanuatu
14. Star Wars, Princess Bride, Narnia
15. The Dream of Hockey Gold in 2006
And the Bonus Question....Grandma Dyck
and the Bonus Bonus Question???
And I have to annouce the winners...wheich turned out to be a tie between...Mom and Dad! Of course they would have to win...they did bring me into life..I suppose it's only fair...
Now, I would be remiss if I didn't point something out here. This last week, there has been some good news around. I don't want to to say I told you so, but I did predict it.
Let's name the Canadian Teams still competing in Stanley Cup playoffs...And let's only count the teams that actualy have a chance...Oh...well...I guess...that leaves...the Mighty Mighty Edmonton Oilers, defeating the holders of the Presidents Trophy, the number one team, the Detroit Red wings, sending shock waves all through the NHL. And you know what the best part is?
The best isn't that Oilers have a strategy where they don't have to rely on one player to support the team...cough coughIginla....we can pull up players like Pisani and Hemsky in Game 6 to score the goals, while Smyth, Horcoff, Moreau, Peca, Pronger, Spacek, Dvorak, Torres can wait for their turn to shine another game. Even Rolloson stepped up his game to be "The number 1 Oiler in the playoffs" as quoted by Calgary's Fan 960.
The best part isn't the fact that a number 8 team defeated a number 1 team to convincingly advance to round two.
The best part isn't the fact that Calgary bombed out with the other top 2 teams in the league to hit the greens...
You know what the best part is?
The best part is that I documented it all in my previous blog and predicted it would come this way. Edmonton Oilers going for the CUP!!! Yeah!
Signing off...one very happy, NON-bandwagon fan!
1. Field Hockey
2.Cuff Links
3. Anything goes
4. Conklin
5.Toyota Corolla
6. Mel Borhot
7. Calgary flames 6-5
8.Wangaratta
9. Azhia Lily Claridge
10. Banff
11. The answer to this...Yes of course!
12. Russia
13. Vanuatu
14. Star Wars, Princess Bride, Narnia
15. The Dream of Hockey Gold in 2006
And the Bonus Question....Grandma Dyck
and the Bonus Bonus Question???
And I have to annouce the winners...wheich turned out to be a tie between...Mom and Dad! Of course they would have to win...they did bring me into life..I suppose it's only fair...
Now, I would be remiss if I didn't point something out here. This last week, there has been some good news around. I don't want to to say I told you so, but I did predict it.
Let's name the Canadian Teams still competing in Stanley Cup playoffs...And let's only count the teams that actualy have a chance...Oh...well...I guess...that leaves...the Mighty Mighty Edmonton Oilers, defeating the holders of the Presidents Trophy, the number one team, the Detroit Red wings, sending shock waves all through the NHL. And you know what the best part is?
The best isn't that Oilers have a strategy where they don't have to rely on one player to support the team...cough coughIginla....we can pull up players like Pisani and Hemsky in Game 6 to score the goals, while Smyth, Horcoff, Moreau, Peca, Pronger, Spacek, Dvorak, Torres can wait for their turn to shine another game. Even Rolloson stepped up his game to be "The number 1 Oiler in the playoffs" as quoted by Calgary's Fan 960.
The best part isn't the fact that a number 8 team defeated a number 1 team to convincingly advance to round two.
The best part isn't the fact that Calgary bombed out with the other top 2 teams in the league to hit the greens...
You know what the best part is?
The best part is that I documented it all in my previous blog and predicted it would come this way. Edmonton Oilers going for the CUP!!! Yeah!
Signing off...one very happy, NON-bandwagon fan!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Blog Number 46!!!
That's right. There have been 45 blogs before this one, and this makes it 46 times I've had to appease the masses with a new blog entry. I've created a monster here. It's like the curse of the comedian. He tells funny jokes and you laugh, but you never really think, "Oh, well, I've had enough jokes." No, it's always...More Jokes!!! Once the comedian starts something, he finds it hard to leave. It's like what I've got here.
More Blogs!
Well, here's a real treat for you. Maybe you're a newbie to this blog of ours, or maybe you've been a loyal fanatic. Well, here's a chance for you to really strut your stuff. I've compiled a trivia game about this blog and all the stuff that we've put in it. It gives you a chance to see if you can actually remember the stuff we write. So, put your answers in a comment, and the winner will get a real treat. But, like my Dad's philosphy, "You can't win unless you enter"...so I expect to see lots of responses.
And in no particular order, here they are.
1. What sport did Meg and I go see at the Commonwealth Games here in Melbourne?
2.What fashion accessory did I wear when I wrote... "Never thought you'd see that in sentence! "Jeremy" and "in style".?
3. Name 3 Aussie words or phrases you've learned reading this blog?
4. Instead of the proverbial "Newman", I have replaced it with my own version. What is it?
5.What kind of car did Meg and I buy?
6. What's the name of my Muslim friend who I visited in Canada?
7. Who won the epic Battle of Alberta between the Flames and the Mighty Oilers on Dec 31st?
8.What town did "Dyck Ministries International" first set out to?
9. Who has a friend named "Frankie"?
10. Where do you find the Hot Springs Meg and I swam in while it was -20 outside?
11. Did you find the Pun blog funny?
12. Who did Canada play to win the World Junior Championship of Hockey this year?
13. I spent a week bacheloring because Meg went to _______?
14. Name two out of three movies referred to in Dad's comment to my "Oilers Invitation Blog"?
15. I wrote an eloquent blog named "My Eulogy" for the death of what?
And the Bonus Question....
I get comments from somebody named Chick. Who is Chick?
and the Bonus Bonus Question???
Name all the countries I get hits from for this blog?
Hey I never said they would be easy questions. Have fun and I look forward to seeing your answers!
More Blogs!
Well, here's a real treat for you. Maybe you're a newbie to this blog of ours, or maybe you've been a loyal fanatic. Well, here's a chance for you to really strut your stuff. I've compiled a trivia game about this blog and all the stuff that we've put in it. It gives you a chance to see if you can actually remember the stuff we write. So, put your answers in a comment, and the winner will get a real treat. But, like my Dad's philosphy, "You can't win unless you enter"...so I expect to see lots of responses.
And in no particular order, here they are.
1. What sport did Meg and I go see at the Commonwealth Games here in Melbourne?
2.What fashion accessory did I wear when I wrote... "Never thought you'd see that in sentence! "Jeremy" and "in style".?
3. Name 3 Aussie words or phrases you've learned reading this blog?
4. Instead of the proverbial "Newman", I have replaced it with my own version. What is it?
5.What kind of car did Meg and I buy?
6. What's the name of my Muslim friend who I visited in Canada?
7. Who won the epic Battle of Alberta between the Flames and the Mighty Oilers on Dec 31st?
8.What town did "Dyck Ministries International" first set out to?
9. Who has a friend named "Frankie"?
10. Where do you find the Hot Springs Meg and I swam in while it was -20 outside?
11. Did you find the Pun blog funny?
12. Who did Canada play to win the World Junior Championship of Hockey this year?
13. I spent a week bacheloring because Meg went to _______?
14. Name two out of three movies referred to in Dad's comment to my "Oilers Invitation Blog"?
15. I wrote an eloquent blog named "My Eulogy" for the death of what?
And the Bonus Question....
I get comments from somebody named Chick. Who is Chick?
and the Bonus Bonus Question???
Name all the countries I get hits from for this blog?
Hey I never said they would be easy questions. Have fun and I look forward to seeing your answers!
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Easter?..Shouldn't you just say, "More East"?
Well, now that's its been established about my feelings for the Oilers, I don't need to go over that again...That is..until they win the cup of course!
Happy Easter to all!!
Meg and I are very much enjoying our long weekend, although the weather hasn't done much for us lately. Yesterday and today were quite balmy with a high of only 18 during the day and dark clouds and cold wind all day. Winter is very fast approaching...
That will make Sunday night a bit chilly for us. In Bendigo, we have a big Easter torchlight procession on the Sunday night, followed by fireworks by the lake. But last year we started something new. All the churches of Bendigo have joined together to start something called Citywide Connections, and on Sunday night, straight after the fireworks, we have a big outdoor service at the lake. Loud cranking music...a good speaker...all very good. So, everyone who just watched the fireworks can come and check out what's going on. But, they are predicting a very cold night. So, we'll just have to get up and get moving...but it should be a very fun night. Last year was...and we expect this year to be very very good.
You know, it's funny what people relate Easter to. I was talking to mom on the phone the other day and she was telling me about the Easter bread they made...Oh, I love Easter bread. But I don't think anybody outside the Dyck clan knows what it is...man, they're missing out, I say. For all the un-enlightened ones, its a sweet loaf of bread with icing on the top and sprinkles....not too appealing you say? Well, like I said, you're the un-enlightened ones. Meg enjoys the Hot Cross Buns although the smell of them makes me want to go drive the porcelain bus, if you catch my drift. Blech!
But here in Bendigo, they have an Easter Fair with games and rides set up in the middle of downtown Bendigo. Meg and I went this morning and checked it out with Nathan and his daughter, Azhia. She loved the rides...Teacups, the Carousel, the Bouncing Castle...but enough about what Meg did...Azhia went on a few rides as well...
Just kidding.
Did you know that the Bendigo Easter festival is rated the number one Easter celebration in all of Victoria? And I think it's pretty cool that in the midst of this massive celebration, our church can be involved in celebrating the true meaning of Easter. Our church even has a part in the parade...with these cool puppet things and a whole bunch of people handing out cards about our church...
Too bad it's so chilly though.
Oh well. Life goes on
Happy Easter to all!!
Meg and I are very much enjoying our long weekend, although the weather hasn't done much for us lately. Yesterday and today were quite balmy with a high of only 18 during the day and dark clouds and cold wind all day. Winter is very fast approaching...
That will make Sunday night a bit chilly for us. In Bendigo, we have a big Easter torchlight procession on the Sunday night, followed by fireworks by the lake. But last year we started something new. All the churches of Bendigo have joined together to start something called Citywide Connections, and on Sunday night, straight after the fireworks, we have a big outdoor service at the lake. Loud cranking music...a good speaker...all very good. So, everyone who just watched the fireworks can come and check out what's going on. But, they are predicting a very cold night. So, we'll just have to get up and get moving...but it should be a very fun night. Last year was...and we expect this year to be very very good.
You know, it's funny what people relate Easter to. I was talking to mom on the phone the other day and she was telling me about the Easter bread they made...Oh, I love Easter bread. But I don't think anybody outside the Dyck clan knows what it is...man, they're missing out, I say. For all the un-enlightened ones, its a sweet loaf of bread with icing on the top and sprinkles....not too appealing you say? Well, like I said, you're the un-enlightened ones. Meg enjoys the Hot Cross Buns although the smell of them makes me want to go drive the porcelain bus, if you catch my drift. Blech!
But here in Bendigo, they have an Easter Fair with games and rides set up in the middle of downtown Bendigo. Meg and I went this morning and checked it out with Nathan and his daughter, Azhia. She loved the rides...Teacups, the Carousel, the Bouncing Castle...but enough about what Meg did...Azhia went on a few rides as well...
Just kidding.
Did you know that the Bendigo Easter festival is rated the number one Easter celebration in all of Victoria? And I think it's pretty cool that in the midst of this massive celebration, our church can be involved in celebrating the true meaning of Easter. Our church even has a part in the parade...with these cool puppet things and a whole bunch of people handing out cards about our church...
Too bad it's so chilly though.
Oh well. Life goes on
Sunday, April 09, 2006
In Rebuttal...
I have never seen so much hate in one place! Here I try to spread the love that comes from a pure Oiler heart and I get nothing but ridicule and rejection! Let me recap some of the phrases used:
So many brains ... so little wisdom!
...your many flaws
Heretic!
...wishful thinking certainly...
...you have forgotten your mother's teachings on the benefits of wearing a hat in strong sunshine...
...now you're hallucinating...
...You are seriously dilusional...
You have to wallow in misery with the rest of the Oiler degenerates.
Oh, I weep for my son
What happened?!? Instead of being racist, my whole family is team-ist. You seem to enjoy discriminating against my team.
Well, you know what I say?
You've had your chance. I gave this invite once...and only once. So, you're all shunned now. I will not accept any bandwagon flunkies when MacTavish leads the team to greatness. Kyle and I will greatly enjoy flaunting the victory in your face. I will not hold back...not now, and not ever! Oilers Rule!
As you sit there and smugly gloat in your Flames victorious season, you cannot understand what lies ahead. A man who rides a canoe canot see the waterfall until he is going over it. So, go ahead. Enjoy it while it lasts. But knowing my Oilers...it will not last long.
That is all.
So many brains ... so little wisdom!
...your many flaws
Heretic!
...wishful thinking certainly...
...you have forgotten your mother's teachings on the benefits of wearing a hat in strong sunshine...
...now you're hallucinating...
...You are seriously dilusional...
You have to wallow in misery with the rest of the Oiler degenerates.
Oh, I weep for my son
What happened?!? Instead of being racist, my whole family is team-ist. You seem to enjoy discriminating against my team.
Well, you know what I say?
You've had your chance. I gave this invite once...and only once. So, you're all shunned now. I will not accept any bandwagon flunkies when MacTavish leads the team to greatness. Kyle and I will greatly enjoy flaunting the victory in your face. I will not hold back...not now, and not ever! Oilers Rule!
As you sit there and smugly gloat in your Flames victorious season, you cannot understand what lies ahead. A man who rides a canoe canot see the waterfall until he is going over it. So, go ahead. Enjoy it while it lasts. But knowing my Oilers...it will not last long.
That is all.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
The Natives are getting restless...
Oh man, I have no idea why the posting has slowed down lately. My last post was a week ago, and now I hear that people are starting to chant, "More!". Mom tells me that certain people out east (and I don't think it's Grandma and Grandpa) are demanding more....cough..Brenda! So, I'll humour you.
I'd like to tell you a story about myself. When I was younger, I enjoyed doing something different, just for the sake of being different. When Dad always got Coke Slurpees, I would do a melange with all the different flavours. I would get Mom and Dad to buy Pepsi, because they enjoyed Coke, and I told them Pepsi was better. Although now I have matured and I find the refreshing taste of an Ice Cold Coca-Cola to be unbeatable...you're probably thinking that right now. And I wouldn't blame you.
And I also used to cheer for the Edmonton Eskimos, the Football team in Edmonton. I admit it. I did it to be different, but I remember one day when i realised something. I didn't enjoy cheering for the Eskimos anymore. The hassle wasn't worth it. I knew deep down that I liked the Calgary Stampeders. So, I remember quite distinctly one day when I screwed up enough courage to come up to Dad and tell him that I didn't want to cheer for the Eskimos anymore, but that I wanted to change to the Stampeders. And I copped the flack. From my whole family. I probably deserved it, for cheering for the rival team, but I knew, deep down, I had made the right decision.
I learned something that day. I learned that it is important to stand up for what you believe is right. For what you know in your heart to be true and good. I learned that it might be hard and you'll have to work up the courage and probably will have to bite the bullet and face the music. But in the end, it's all worth it just to know you've made the right decision.
That being said....
Edmonton Oilers....Stanley Cup Champions 2006!!!!!!
So this is my invitation to my whole family who know deep down that something isn't right. First to my Easterner Family. Gary, Brenda, Sherry...Growing up in Toronto, it must seem like the right decision at the time to cheer for the Leafs. I mean, Toronto is of course, the centre of universe. But you know deep down that something isn't right. As you teach your children about the Leafs, you know deep down that you're misleading them. So, do what's right. Come back to the Oilers.
Uncle Cam, a Habs Fan. I don't know what led you down this path, but this is for you too. Join me on what you know is the right path...the only path that will lead you to the Stanley Cup.
To Justin, the ever resiliant Canucks Fan. I know the pressures you face with your family. Your dad being a Flames fan, giving in to the dark side, your brother on the good side of the Force. But you know what's right. You know the mighty history that lies behind that Drop of Oil. Why don't you just join us. There comes a time in every man's life when he can choose to stand up for whats right. Now is that time, Justin, now is that time.
And to the deceived, Mom, Dad, Nate, Poppa, Grandma, Terry...My most gracious invitation is to you. For years, you've been lied to. For years, you've been led astray. But unlike my experience, I will welcome you without rebuke. Like the prodigal son returning home after his folly, I will welcome you with open arms. Sure, you may be hesitant, with the current standings and the position the Oilers are in, but it reminds me of the great eagle. The eagle does not fear the storm, but knows that if he faces the oncoming winds with the right angle, he can lifted to previously unknowable heights. So, we will face these challenges with the right angle and soar to Lord Stanley's Cup. A simple look at the city signs will shed light on this. When you enter Calgary, it says "Home of the 1988 Winter Olympics" That's 18 years ago. That's living in the past, but as you enter Edmonton, you are greeted with, "Welcome to Edmonton, City of Champions".
So, to everyone. I implore you to do what you know is right, what is good, noble and just. Join the Oilers to become a Champion!
I'd like to tell you a story about myself. When I was younger, I enjoyed doing something different, just for the sake of being different. When Dad always got Coke Slurpees, I would do a melange with all the different flavours. I would get Mom and Dad to buy Pepsi, because they enjoyed Coke, and I told them Pepsi was better. Although now I have matured and I find the refreshing taste of an Ice Cold Coca-Cola to be unbeatable...you're probably thinking that right now. And I wouldn't blame you.
And I also used to cheer for the Edmonton Eskimos, the Football team in Edmonton. I admit it. I did it to be different, but I remember one day when i realised something. I didn't enjoy cheering for the Eskimos anymore. The hassle wasn't worth it. I knew deep down that I liked the Calgary Stampeders. So, I remember quite distinctly one day when I screwed up enough courage to come up to Dad and tell him that I didn't want to cheer for the Eskimos anymore, but that I wanted to change to the Stampeders. And I copped the flack. From my whole family. I probably deserved it, for cheering for the rival team, but I knew, deep down, I had made the right decision.
I learned something that day. I learned that it is important to stand up for what you believe is right. For what you know in your heart to be true and good. I learned that it might be hard and you'll have to work up the courage and probably will have to bite the bullet and face the music. But in the end, it's all worth it just to know you've made the right decision.
That being said....
Edmonton Oilers....Stanley Cup Champions 2006!!!!!!
So this is my invitation to my whole family who know deep down that something isn't right. First to my Easterner Family. Gary, Brenda, Sherry...Growing up in Toronto, it must seem like the right decision at the time to cheer for the Leafs. I mean, Toronto is of course, the centre of universe. But you know deep down that something isn't right. As you teach your children about the Leafs, you know deep down that you're misleading them. So, do what's right. Come back to the Oilers.
Uncle Cam, a Habs Fan. I don't know what led you down this path, but this is for you too. Join me on what you know is the right path...the only path that will lead you to the Stanley Cup.
To Justin, the ever resiliant Canucks Fan. I know the pressures you face with your family. Your dad being a Flames fan, giving in to the dark side, your brother on the good side of the Force. But you know what's right. You know the mighty history that lies behind that Drop of Oil. Why don't you just join us. There comes a time in every man's life when he can choose to stand up for whats right. Now is that time, Justin, now is that time.
And to the deceived, Mom, Dad, Nate, Poppa, Grandma, Terry...My most gracious invitation is to you. For years, you've been lied to. For years, you've been led astray. But unlike my experience, I will welcome you without rebuke. Like the prodigal son returning home after his folly, I will welcome you with open arms. Sure, you may be hesitant, with the current standings and the position the Oilers are in, but it reminds me of the great eagle. The eagle does not fear the storm, but knows that if he faces the oncoming winds with the right angle, he can lifted to previously unknowable heights. So, we will face these challenges with the right angle and soar to Lord Stanley's Cup. A simple look at the city signs will shed light on this. When you enter Calgary, it says "Home of the 1988 Winter Olympics" That's 18 years ago. That's living in the past, but as you enter Edmonton, you are greeted with, "Welcome to Edmonton, City of Champions".
So, to everyone. I implore you to do what you know is right, what is good, noble and just. Join the Oilers to become a Champion!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
Meg in Vanuatu while I'm in Marong...
INIGO: Who are you?
MAN IN BLACK: I'm no one of consequence.
INIGO: I must know
MAN IN BLACK: Get used to disappointment.
The story of my life...get used to disappointment. Meg is of course, these days in Vanuatu, a Pacific Island remiscient of Fiji, Cooks Islands, Nauru...An All-expenses paid trip with the church to set up the Kids ministry over there. And from what I hear, she's doing it rough. She told of the 7 Island cruise they went on all day, the restaurants at which they eat, the views of what she's seen...the beaches, the markets. I'll show you a picture of Hideaway Island where she was going
And then Meg tells me that the heat is crazy...although it's only 30 degrees there, the humidity is like 80%. So, after seeing those pictures...hands up to all those who want to give her their sympathy...I thought so. When i look out my window now here at work, I see a dry paddock on an overcast day, with the dust blowing around, and the kangaroos hopping around. It just doesn't compare
But she is doing well, and from what i hear, the kids ministry stuff is going quite well. So that's good. It'll be good to have her back again. By the time the week is over, I'll have had enough of the house to myself.
Other than that, there is nothing to report. I was going to wait to blog when she had returned, but Mom pointed out that she couldn't wait to log on and see my "updated" blog...hint hint. Thanks Mom.
MAN IN BLACK: I'm no one of consequence.
INIGO: I must know
MAN IN BLACK: Get used to disappointment.
The story of my life...get used to disappointment. Meg is of course, these days in Vanuatu, a Pacific Island remiscient of Fiji, Cooks Islands, Nauru...An All-expenses paid trip with the church to set up the Kids ministry over there. And from what I hear, she's doing it rough. She told of the 7 Island cruise they went on all day, the restaurants at which they eat, the views of what she's seen...the beaches, the markets. I'll show you a picture of Hideaway Island where she was going
And then Meg tells me that the heat is crazy...although it's only 30 degrees there, the humidity is like 80%. So, after seeing those pictures...hands up to all those who want to give her their sympathy...I thought so. When i look out my window now here at work, I see a dry paddock on an overcast day, with the dust blowing around, and the kangaroos hopping around. It just doesn't compare
But she is doing well, and from what i hear, the kids ministry stuff is going quite well. So that's good. It'll be good to have her back again. By the time the week is over, I'll have had enough of the house to myself.
Other than that, there is nothing to report. I was going to wait to blog when she had returned, but Mom pointed out that she couldn't wait to log on and see my "updated" blog...hint hint. Thanks Mom.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I love you Jeremy Dyck!
Hey Jezza,
I'm here at the Sydney Airport filling in time before PB and I catch our flight to Pt Vlia. We've been here like 2 hours already and I've looked in each shop here at the airport like 10 times and have been walking extremely slow to try and fill in time too. Been reading and chatting to PB. Will be great to get on our flight...Cant wait to get to Vanuatu will take some great happy snaps of EVERYTHING to bring home and show you. We'll have to post some on here so everyone can see!
Well, have a FANTASTIC week without me (I know that will be hard, but try your best!) watch all those movies I refuse to watch with you, read all those books without being interrupted and have fun sleeping in the middle of the bed! ha ha....
Love you so so much, hopefully I'll talk to you while I'm over there and I'll text ya anyways. Running out of time so I'll go...
Hi to everyone else that is reading this, I promise I'll take some great photos of my adventures!
LOVE YOU JEREMY!
Meg
xoxoxo
I'm here at the Sydney Airport filling in time before PB and I catch our flight to Pt Vlia. We've been here like 2 hours already and I've looked in each shop here at the airport like 10 times and have been walking extremely slow to try and fill in time too. Been reading and chatting to PB. Will be great to get on our flight...Cant wait to get to Vanuatu will take some great happy snaps of EVERYTHING to bring home and show you. We'll have to post some on here so everyone can see!
Well, have a FANTASTIC week without me (I know that will be hard, but try your best!) watch all those movies I refuse to watch with you, read all those books without being interrupted and have fun sleeping in the middle of the bed! ha ha....
Love you so so much, hopefully I'll talk to you while I'm over there and I'll text ya anyways. Running out of time so I'll go...
Hi to everyone else that is reading this, I promise I'll take some great photos of my adventures!
LOVE YOU JEREMY!
Meg
xoxoxo
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
When aussies say "Hockey"...there's no ice!
Meg and I got the opportunity to head down to watch some of the Commonwealth games here in Melbourne. It's been such a hyped up event, we figured we'd see what all the fuss was about. It also gave me a chance to see some Canadians in action as we went to watch Australia and Canada play in the field hockey game. It was pretty fun, but the atmosphere was probably the coolest part of all, with all these Canadians, and South Africans and English, and Scots and Pakistanis...very fun. I loved seeing all the red and white there. It was too bad that Australia dominated the game and beat Canada 5-1. I might add a side note here and say that the one goal Canad scored was it's first of the whole tournament...that's alright. Another side note, Australia currently leads the medal tally with 85 medals, including 32 Gold....Second place is England with 41 Medals in total...so, its a bit one sided here. But I got the chance to go after the game and say "Hi" to a couple of the players...One from Vancouver, and the other from Edmonton...it's always good to say Hi to the home boys...I think they both went to UBC in Victoria, too. Did I mention that John Howard, the Australian Prime Minister was also in attendance? I went over and said Hi to him too...giving him my views on inter-departmental politics, and my thoughts on the Kyoto Accord, privitisation of health centres and international relations with under-developed countries...Just kidding! We actually just discussed the hockey...haha
Friday, March 17, 2006
A Good pun is its own re-word!
The other day I saw two people in Safeway, both dressed in a bar code. I walked up to them and said, "Are you two an item?"
There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.
Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
A lady wrote to an advice column in a newspaper: 'I have been engaged to a man for some time, but just before the wedding, I find he has a wooden leg. Do you think I should break it off?'
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"
A guy walks into a bar with a piece of Ashphalt under his arm. He says, "I'll have a beer and one for the road".
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"
Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent? The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't note worthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience. Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.
Hope you enjoyed that!
There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.
Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
A lady wrote to an advice column in a newspaper: 'I have been engaged to a man for some time, but just before the wedding, I find he has a wooden leg. Do you think I should break it off?'
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"
A guy walks into a bar with a piece of Ashphalt under his arm. He says, "I'll have a beer and one for the road".
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"
Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent? The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't note worthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience. Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.
Hope you enjoyed that!
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